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Friday, February 16, 2007

K.i.s.s. - Keep It Simple Stupid.

Corporate Speak…Written English gone mad!

Try this.

“A marketing blog about the intersection of social media, search marketing and online public relations”

How about that for the subtitle for a blog!

Now I have no doubt the writer really knows blogging inside out.

He has probably forgotten more about copywriting than I will ever know.

But I just read the sentence to my wife, who ain’t stupid, and she said, “What does that mean?”

Now this is what I was saying in my last blog about the self-styled guru’s of the internet.

Make the thing complicated, baffle them with science, and then watch the consultancy fees roll in.

(I have no idea if the writer of the blog concerned is actually selling anything, I never got beyond the title)

The whole point of writing is to get the reader to continue reading.

If they have to stop and work out what your title means, then you have lost straight away.

In writing the whole point of the headline is…to get them to read the subhead.

And the point of that, to get them to read the first sentence.

And then the second sentence.

And if you break that natural flow, even for a moment, you stand a good chance of losing your reader.

Would the writer of the above blog talk like that in the real world?

Use those words?

I think not.

And that is the biggest problem facing a writer.

People tend to write as they think people are expected to write.

They seem to think that the complicated bull makes them sound smarter, it doesn’t.

Nothing can be further from the truth.

Write as if you were chatting.

OK.

What is the first thing we do when we are chatting to a new acquaintance.

We subconsciously adapt to their level.

Speak to them in a language that our subconscious thinks is right for them

To a baby it might be “Hi diddums”, but try saying that to a Manchester United “Neanderthal Man” fan, and you are likely to have your headlights kicked in!

You adapt to your audience.

So before you can write one word, you must know who your audience is, or it’s all a waste of time.

Picture the person and importantly, realise that you are presenting and developing an idea, a thought.

And remember, in your real world conversation, if the person you’re chatting to doesn’t understand what you mean, fine they just ask.

Not possible here.

Your readers, most if not all of them, must understand what you mean with no chance of you clarifying that meaning.

To me the art of true genius is not to understand your art yourself, but to be able to make it sound easy to others.

So make sure you KISS off the bullsh*t.

Have a good one,

Mike

P.s.

Before the author of the blog I mentioned messages me, I admit to being a satisfaction deprived, locationally disadvantaged , melanin-impoverished member of the mutant albino genetic-recessive global minority oppressor who is motivationally dispossessed, factually unencumbered and a sexually focused, chronologically gifted individual. So there.

Translation…A pissed off, lost, white male who is lazy, ignorant and a dirty old man.

Before you go...

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

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